Glasses
by For The Worst
Summary: A story about glasses. Rated T for Too short of LSD trip.


This story happened around a century ago.

**AROUND A CENTURY AGO**

"Gunther!? Gunther, where are you gunther!?" Said a certain blue popsicle Ice humanoid with beards that he uses to fly. The Ice king is his name, and stealing princesses is his game, but not a century ago. Around this time, he always does his spring cleaning, even though it's summer. If there is a summer in the land of Ooo, that is.

"Wa-wa-wa...wa!" Suddenly a wild gunther appeared with his flipper holding a cool glasses.

"I don't need glasses!" Ice King slapped the glasses angrily to the side and out fo the window of the ice kingdom.

"Wa-wa-waaaa!" Yelled a dejected Gunther.

The glasses then got stuck on an ice bir nest. Which then got knocked by a gust of wind. It then flew and hit the list flying squirrel and changed direction north-west into a swarm of honey bees. They passed the glasses into a migrating bird of the north in which they dropped it like a bomb into some old man's castle. It entered the chimney which got send into the fireplace, the fireplace crumbled below due to the added weights of the firewood much to the old man's disappointment as he's having a cold.

The glasses then went underground, passing the remains of a t-rex, passing a skeleton of twins, a toy car, a nuclear tube and activated a ray gun after hitting its trigger when being ashored by the underground magical mineral water river. The ray gun hit the ceiling of the underground which made a stream of cyclop tears being mixed and overflown the underground cavern which in turn made a geyser happen and shoots up the glasses into the air, where it then somehow survived an array of arrows from both sides of the now in heat of battle white and black kingdom.

The glasses then modified by a flying technician mid-air which it then applied its rocket nitro booster ability in which it then flew past the speed of light and passed the speed of time in which at the distance, the flying technician sheds a single tear before being hit by the time fractures of the glasses that is breaking the laws of physics itself.

The glasses who disappears then appeared in prehistoric time, future, middle-age, the time where lich is born, farmland multiverse, when shoko is still hanging with bubblegum, and almost being wrapped inside the everything burrito by jake at the same time in the same space of multiverse. The multiverse itself then collapsed in which it then being assembled with the help of Prismo and the Cosmic Owl with the side help of Billy. Billy caught the glasses, removed any special abilities of the glasses before returning it back to its original timeline which makes some of the above sentences never even happened in the first place.

The lifeless glasses then reached the wizard city, in which then it flew above for no explainable reason, and then went straight to Candy Kingdom. Turns out, Magic Man is behind the glasses weird behavior, but was then quickly shot down by Princess Bubblegum super goose. She then pulled out two container of chemicals, mixing it, and then stir it slowly to make them turn into a new color before throwing the mixed chemicals into Magic Man. Magic man unfortunately, used a cloning ninjutsu and flew away even though he is not ninja man.

The glasses now free of control, was then picked by a mutated shoko, which she threw away because it's useless, and it flew as far as the bath boys gang, bonking all of their head because apparently, Billy also tinkered the glasses by applying steel awesomeness into it. The glasses then hit a c4 detonator in which it blew away bath boys bathhouse in a single blow because it's awesome. The glasses flew at high speed into outer space, in which it hits the remain of apollo 13. The computer inside the remnants of the apoll 13 said in its computer voice. "Houston, we have a undefined fantastic object over here." Before it applies its mechanical hand and grabbed the glasses, but soon it grew bored of the glasses and threw it back to the earth, specifically, the land of Ooo.

The glasses apparently could take a beating or two hundred from the air friction in each spheres of the air. From exosphere to stratosphere it doesn't scratch. It went straight to candy kingdom in which it lands nicely on a candy cushion Princes Bubblegum made at the balcony of the newly build candy castle.

Princess Bubblegum picked the glasses, wipes the glass with her labcoat before equipping herself with it.

"Cool glasses. Finders keepers!" She said from the balcony before resuming her research. Glasses still equipped on her face.

Meanwhile Ice King, looking very melancholic, looked at the scrapbook he just made filled with tears and snots and saliva. He then searched for a missing piece that is meant to be placed at the end of its scrapbook, a certain glasses that he didn't remember he just slapped out the window. Dejected, he quits his search before looking out the same window, sighing.

"I wish I can eat pancake right now." He said before crying comically.

"And that's how I got this glasses." Said a certain pink and sweet princess who is not really nineteen, but several centuries old. She is actually sitting in turn with Finn, Jake, and Marceline, telling a story about their prized possession inside Finn's treehouse. "See Finn, Jake, Marceline? Don't you think my story entertains you?" She looked at a bored to snot Finn who is snuggling with Jake in his arms. "Aw Finn, you can just ask me to stop the story."

Marceline laughed. "Ha ha, don't worry Pebles, I'm sure they're excited to sleep."

Princess Bubblegum sighed. "I hope so." She sighed before laughing. "Do my story bore you at all, Marceline?"

It was a question not worth answering, but Marceline just felt like answering herself. "Nah, it was good at the start, but it became ridiculous enough I couldn't even follow it." She shook her head before picking an apple near her and absorbed the red out of it.

The storyteller laughed. "I guess it is kind of stupid, but it's true though."

"Really? I don't remember you having a glasses princess." Said a certain blue popcicle ice humanoid who is actually also listening to Princess Bubblegum story. "Try putting your glasses on Princess, I want to see you in glasses for once."

"No."

Ice King looked dejected, he sighed before replying an "Okay..." which he said sourly.

Marceline looking at the ice king with mixed feeling, grabbed Pebles over her shoulder and whispered silently to her. "Just do what he asked you, or he'll secretly put the glasses on you when you're sleeping." Marceline snickered. "C'mon, I'm also curious here."

PB sighed. "Okay, okay." Marceline laughed before releasing her. The princess then did a deep breath before putting it on, she then released her air inside. "There, satisfied Ice King?" She looked at the Ice King proudly.

Ice King went silent. Her eyes mesmerized at Princess Bubblegum's face before a word came out from his mouth which shocked everyone in the room.

"Betty?"

Princess Bubblegum irked, moving away a step from the Ice King. Marceline who is drinking a soda couldn't help but spit out what she had inside her mouth and hit Finn's face. Finn in turn, awaken by the sudden wet element inside his mouth, looked slightly at Ice King who is still mesmerized with PB before fully awake and punches Ice King in the face.

"Ouch, what was that for!?"

"That's for spitting at my face you popsicle man!"

"No Finn, that was me." Marceline stopped Finn's left hook. "I'm sorry for startling you, just go back to sleep, 'kay?"

Finn looked at Marceline whose expression is not her usual. He sighed, rubbing the back of his head. "Alright Marceline, if you say so." He then dragged Jake to their bedroom half-awake, fell down the stair and crashes into the dining table.

Ice King who is concerned about his BFF, quickly looked at the stairways. Princess Bubblegum who is aware of the situation, used this as her chance. "I... um, well... I'm going to check on those two. See if they might hit their head or something. Because I'm pretty sure they just did." Ice King nods and Maceline gave Princess Bubblegum a thumbs up. Princess Bubblegum nods before climbing down the stairs to found two brothers sleepiing on the broken table with BMO using Jake's tomach as trampoline.

"Wheee" BMO whee'd happily.

Marceline on the other hand, asked the Ice King. "Hey Ice King... no, Simon. Have you finally remembered who Betty is?"

"Betty who?" Ice King asked back.

And then the apollo 13 crashed down into Finn's house.

* * *

**Hi hi! FTW here!**

**What? Am I drunk?**

**Nah man, just on crack. (Lol, JK) Nah I'm not drunk, because I'm actually driving. (Wait that doesn't even make a lick of sense.) But enough ridiculous exchanges, I just want to say that I thank you readers for sparing a time for my first one-shot in the Adventure Time community. I wanted to make the weirdest possible one-shot I could've think of, but ended up with this. So... yeah, rated T for Too short of LSD.  
**

**And... yeah, this is an IK x PB... kind of... sort of... or whatever. I'm out, peace.**

**-Adventure Time, Copyright by Cartoon Network (2010). Pendleton Ward, all rights reserved-**


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